“Climbing that Mountain”

A while back this summer my husband and I went on a mini vacation to Eureka Springs, a little resort town in Arkansas.  We stayed at a quaint historic hotel called the Crescent.  What I did not know at the time that I booked the hotel was that it was going through a major rehab of their elevator system.  In other words there was no elevator service and the stairs were the only way to get to our room.  I find this out about a week before we are supposed to be there.  I can tell you that I was scared of the prospect of climbing several flights of stairs several times a day for 4 days.  It’s funny how even when intellectually I knew that I had made progress in my fitness level through Crossfit training somehow my mind did not completely register how much I had changed.  In my mind I was still the person who struggled to make it up a half flight of stairs in my split level house all the while huffing and puffing.  So I agonized over the prospect of tackling those stairs every day for 4 days. In fact I became very indignant; I mean, how dare the hotel not tell me beforehand.  “I should just cancel our stay there” I told my husband. For various reasons I decided not to cancel; I’ll just deal with it. 

When we arrived I found out that we had to go up 3 flights of stairs to get to our room.  What I discovered was that I had indeed transformed into another person. I glided up those stairs almost effortlessly, barely increasing my breath. I’m not sure if I have the right words to describe how I felt. At the top of the stairs I almost cried with happiness.  This may seem like a small thing to most people.  If you have never been in a position where your body could not do what your mind willed it to do then you will not know what an accomplishment this was for me.  But If you have been in the position like me where even the smallest physical exertion was a monumental task then you know exactly how I felt.

Crescent Hotel Grand Staircase

The next day after breakfast in the main floor dining room we started to head back to our room.  As we got near the stairs there was a woman standing on the landing looking up at the flight of stairs.  She was fairly large but more importantly she was very flabby, no muscle tone.  She looked about mid-thirties, considerably younger than me.  She just stood there looking at the stairs.  The look on her face was one of fear and dread as if she was about to climb a mountain.  After a while she started her very slow climb, clinging to the railing, struggling to use her arms to help pull her along.  Her breathing was heavy and loud.  She made her way half way up to the mid landing and rested, leaning against the railing.  I felt like I was looking at my former self; I felt her pain.  I felt for her.  I wanted to reach out to her but of course I could not.  This is a journey that one has to decide for them self to embark on.  I don’t know what happened to her climb; I hurried up the stairs past her to go to our room. 

When I got to the room I couldn’t get the picture of that woman out of my mind.  That scene made it crystal clear why I do CrossFit and why I can never stop pushing the limits of my body.  The reason that I needed to climb mountains in the gym and at the track is so that I don’t have to in the daily activities of life.  So that the simple act of living does not become an unattainable struggle.  So that the normal everyday physical obstacles are easy for me overcome.  I don't have any grand goals of becoming some kind of athlete; all I want to do is just be able to live.  To really live; not just exist, not just survive, but to embrace life fully. I will of course age but I do not have to give in to being being weak.  I have made a decision to fight. The great thing is that I'm enjoying this battle as I bound up the stairs barely increasing a breath and not breaking even a drop of sweat.